i feel so much and so little at the same time

I have always felt underwhelmed and overwhelmed simultaneously, many times.

But it's only now that I'm realising how often I feel it, creating a sort of harmonious disruption within me.

It's like everything keeps fading in and out, in and out, in and out...

It sort of numbs the spirit of existing, but in a transcendental manner.

when i feel everything, i feel everything deeply,

when i feel nothing, i also feel nothing deeply.

Moreover, I believe that sensitivity has a gargantuan role in this.

Sensitivity is often portrayed and misunderstood in a negative connotation.

Like it's a fault, a flaw, a shameful characteristic.

But spoiler alert: It's NOT.

Once you realise the serenity of sensitivity; you realise how deeply you can feel things.

Feeling things deeply can again be both draining and revitalising, a pro as well as a con.

What matters most is how you mould it to your beckoning.

Nevertheless, it is a SIGN that YOU are a HUMAN and NOT a SOULESS ROBOT.

Of course, sensitivity shouldn't be used as an excuse to develop a victim complex; in which you constantly exhibit yourself as a weak, damsel in distress who needs a saviour to mollycoddle and pamper you. That, without a doubt is WRONG and will lead you absolutely nowhere in life, except to the path of over-reliance and dependency, and we don't want that now, do we? No. We don't.

Additionally, obviously people are gonna object to you protecting your sensitive nature. Protect in the sense, when people say;

'You're too much.'

'You take things so seriously.'

'You're the most sensitive person I have ever met.'

Yada yada...

And then you (I) say;

'No, it's just that I have a confrontational nature, and when I don't like something someone does, I communicate it to them so that there are no misunderstandings and that no resentment lingers between us BECAUSE I CARE TOO MUCH and DON'T WANT TO RUIN THE RELATIONSHIP.'

I ave been there lol. But yes, either the objection is actually constructive for your own betterment or is actually inaccurate, and that individual who has objected is insensitive.

You can do the reflection yourself and come to a deduction.

After all, you can't lie to yourself, and neither can you deny what the truth really is.

So yeah, I have absolutely no shame in saying:

"Yes, I am a highly sensitive person. Not only do I own that shit, but I eat that shit up (in a good way course)"

Lastly, my dear stars

It's totally okay to feel a lot and a little. I guess this is what you call unfamiliar emotional normalcy, I mean, according to my soul that is.

Some days are gonna be the best, some days are gonna be the worst. Some days will be nothing, and some days will be everything.

Finally, it's knowing that no matter what day it is, no matter how you feel, no matter what night it is, no matter what happens:

it's gonna be okay.

Maybe not now? But sooner or later.

At least, that's how I soothe my emotions to slumber, coax my feelings to ease, and serenade my mind to serenity.

One very prominent lesson I have acquired with respect to my sensitivity is that its abode is patience.

ALSO Sensitivity can be such a superpower only if you allow yourself to exercise it in that manner!

In the end, we all have loads to learn from each other! So why don't we celebrate each other, be graceful while righting the wrongs of one another, and uplift the ones around us while accepting them as they are (trust me, it only makes both your lives easier and no this doesn't mean you just accept shit from everyone duh. YOU GET IT!), together and in harmonious compassion :)

Until then

With the most sensitive affection,

XOXO,

MaryTheLamp 🧚‍♀️